The Struggle

It is a fact that I am rarely going to admit that someone has taught me something life changing. Especially when I am extremely humbled by what I have been taught. I have been in a relationship with the love of my life for years, and more than anything else she taught me something that changed the way I viewed life. Our age difference is a larger deficit then what most couples would choose to engage in. Nevertheless, I believe with all of my heart this is what God has intended. I have the absolute intention of marrying this girl, and the more I pray the more I realize that God has given me one of the biggest gifts I could ever receive on earth. I can love and feel love back, I am cared for, I am listened to, I have a best friend, someone who has my best interest at heart, and most of all someone to make me a better person. It would be impossible to list all of the things God has showed me by using her. I have learned about love, life, and everything else. However, one thing she does has changed my life more than she ever could have done on our own. I have only spoken of it to her once so I do not think that she will ever understand the weight of what she has done for me. She does not give up no matter how hopeless it seems, or even in the face of absolute failure. I am in love with her, but even more so I am in love with HER. I am not saying the cliche that "the only way to fail is to give up." No. God used her to show me something bigger. Our relationship is far from perfect, which is what makes it perfect. We struggle to agree, to keep things pure, to have our families coincide, to communicate, to be the best we can be to each other, and every other problem you can have. There have been many times where I challenge her with the question of, "Why are we even doing this?" Yet I can always rest assured in her answer, "because we love each other." I ask a lot of her and as she grows in mental, physical, and spiritual maturity I am to be patient as she is with me. There are many times where she does not meet expectations, and in our relationship very few people would survive what we have been through. Nevertheless, we are still here. We both aim to be completely obedient to God, and he gifted us with each other for the time being. No matter what comes along she never even sees a break-up as an option. She fails, but she never gives up. She is always herself, and comes out of the hard times as herself. This is life changing for me anyway, because it put true love into my life. It is the type of love in 1 Corinthians 13, the kind that keeps no record of wrongs, forgives, is patient, and kind. However, even more so there is something that the entire world can learn from my love. We are unworthy of salvation. We ruined that long ago. What is even more is that we will continue to sin, and we will fight that until our life on earth ceases to exist . How crazy is it that we will probably sin on the day that we die? We will never be a perfect Christian, and we will never reach a point where our life is perfect. So one might say that they understand why we need Jesus for salvation, but why even try if we will never be completely delivered from sin on earth. Well my answer is this: God knows we will sin (Romans 3:23), so he sent us a gift in his son, Jesus, to pay our debt (Romans 6:23). Even more so God calls us into a losing battle in a part of a war that has already been won. He wants us to keep on trying, and to continue to strive for perfection. Simply because he asked us to. It is not about being perfect. We can't. Yet God asks to look into the face of our failures, turn to his everlasting grace, and keep fighting the good fight. I thank you God, I thank you my love, and I thank you all. God bless.